Peace in my heart

For me, peace in my heart is a goal worth searching for, for working towards and for stopping in my tracks to see if its already there, just not being acknowledged in this busy world we all move about in.

Right this minutes, cinnamon candles burn brightly on the table, chasing away the gloominess of the day, and the sweetest music plays on my stereo that evokes within me a calmness and contentment that is far more precious than gold. A hammered dulcimer playing a melody that feeds my soul.

This morning I walked past our garden, that seems to be struggling this year to do anything much. The ground too dry, too used up, and now muddy. Weeds however, never seem to be affected by such adversity. They grow to survive. Next year the garden will lay still, a year of rest and we will nourish it with minerals and other nutrients it so badly needs. Even in its sad state, the garden gives, not as much as we had hoped, but still if gives. How thankful we are that we live in a time when we do not have to depend on only the garden.

In the stillness of this humid, sticky morning I milked my goats, fed the chickens and let my eye wander to all the marvels of nature that surround my corner of the world. I smiled thinking that so many people in their busy worlds seek vacations where they can connect to the sounds of nature without the hum of the city running in the background. How folks make reservations for simple cabins that lack the luxuries they demand all the rest of the year. No one seems to moan because the vacation spot doesn't have all new stainless appliances or granite counter tops. The curtains may not match the sofa. We run off to find sol ice in places we cannot imagine having to live in. We refresh our souls in places that are so much lower in expectations than what we feel we have to live in. What if we chose instead of living to buy this and buy that, living to impress and then pay the piper for it, we opted to live that vacation sort of existence all the time ? And yes, I do know there are plenty of folks out there that will only vacation in the high end resorts etc and they are not who I am talking about. But if the truth be known, not a one of us is what we own. Those added things we add to our existence is a bit like make-up. Not the real us. We are more, much more than our possessions, but we often hide that truth behind the externals. I suspect we are at times afraid to look under the cover of externals, we can be so full of insecurities.

As I bent over in the garden, pulling carrots, I felt complete peace in my heart. I have it all. Good health, love so full, still my heart feels as though it will explode with delight at the mere sight of my husband walking towards me. I have children that are blessings, joys. Children that have not shamed me, but delight me. I have grandchildren that live near by and give us something beyond what we could have ever imagined. More love. I live daily without having to deal with an ugly boss or negative co-workers. I get to play like a child in the mud with my grand-daughter, or spend a busy day making cheese. I get to sit and read books that inspire or knit socks for the coming winter months. I get to pray with my husband who is the finest Christian man I know. Who has allowed me to brag that in our nearly 32 years, has never, not once, said a mean or hateful word to me. Who has only been provoked to swear twice in our married life, both involve a hammer and a thumb and the word I call a swear is hardly noticed as such these days. Certainly not a foul vulgar word.
It is not luck that has given me this life, it has been choices we made and blessings from those choices. We walked a narrow, path for many years that was lined by scoffers and people that thought we were crazy for making such choices. We smiled then and smile now, content for the road taken.

Life is what you make it and for us, we made it just the way we wanted it to be. Peaceful and simple.